290. How Changing Your Beliefs Changes Your Life

This week on the podcast, I speak with Heather Morgan, host of the Wandering the Wild Mess Podcast, all about manifestation and what it takes to become the version of you you’re calling in. 

In this episode, Heather and I talk about:

• Wandering The Wild Mess Podcast
• Divorce & starting over
• Living in the beauty and the mess 
• manifestation and nervous system work 
• Breaking the loop guide 
• Self-reflection & limiting beliefs
• Stop over-explaining 

Astro Design Collective 

Astro Design School

Where you can find Morgan:

Instagram

Wandering The Wild Mess Podcast

Where you can find Rochelle:

Mastery Monday Newsletter

Substack

YouTube
Instagram

Website

YouTube

Email: info@rochellechristiane.com

Transcript

Welcome & Show Purpose

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Welcome to the Rochelle Christian Podcast. I'm Rochelle, your host. I'm here to help you come back to your body, take charge of your emotions, and live life on your terms. This podcast is a space for raw, real conversations about what it means to trust yourself, lean into your power, and create a life that feels aligned and alive. We'll explore human design, astrology, and other tools to help you understand your unique energy. More importantly, though, we're gonna talk about what it means to actually live and embody these aspects. So each week I'm gonna share stories, lessons, guidance to help you navigate life's challenges and really own your magic. So if you're ready to step up, take control, and show up as the most authentic version of you, let's begin. Welcome back to another episode on the podcast. Today I'm speaking with Heather Morgan. And Heather is the podcast host of the Wandering the Wild Mess podcast, which was born after she left her entire life in Utah after a divorce and moved cross-country. Um, this was a season that really started uh the spark of deep spiritual journey for Morgan, and it connected her to manifestation, neuroscience, and mindset in ways that completely changed her life. And so over the past few years, she's become obsessed with uncovering and identifying limiting beliefs and understanding how they all tie into health and wellness. Once you calm the nervous system, the body naturally stops craving the same unhealthy distractions and it's truly mind, body, and spirit in action. And with over a decade in the corporate world, she brings a grounded practical perspective that balances spirituality with science. Um, and like me, she also geeks out on the space where science and logic meet woo. And this episode was so good. We really talked a lot about rewiring, re-patterning our subconscious, understanding our subconscious beliefs. We talk about her podcast, divorce, um, living in the beauty and the mess, and how living in that balance is so powerful and such a beautiful place to be, like for manifestation, how nervous system work is like everything, and really identifying these patterns. I shared a little bit about uh a recent we so we had actually recorded this back in November, so last Mercury retrograde, and you will hear that Mercury Mercury was definitely retrograding during this conversation. There's it kept like cutting out a little bit. So there's a little glitches, but it doesn't take away from the message of the episode. But just bear with me as I, you know, have worked to just like kind of cut out those little pauses, but you'll hear it a little bit. Literally, we had to re-record it. So we tried once and it was just not having it. We tried again, and it was so funny because I had recorded multiple other podcast interviews with zero issues, but for whatever reason, the universe was making this one a little bit glitchy. But the message is so powerful, the message is so potent. There are so many little um like quotes that I cut out of this. So I'm really excited for you to hear this. You know, she talks a lot about um at the end, we really dive into manifestation and she says, you have to be the person, you have to be uncomfortable and call in, be that person that you're trying to be before it's actually here, right? Um, let me grab the actual quote. She says you have to be uncomfortable being someone you're not yet. And I was like, that is so true. And a lot of the work that we're doing right now inside Astro Design Collective is working with Mercury to uncover and rewire these subconscious beliefs because we are often operating from our subconscious. And the thing is, it's not the belief that makes it true. And what happens a lot of times, I'm gonna explain what I mean by that, but what happens a lot of times is we have this core belief, whether it's I'm not worthy of love, um, I'm not successful, I'm not good with money, whatever that core belief is, the belief isn't the truth. It's the reaction and the action we take according to that belief that then makes it true, right? So if you have a core belief of like, I'm not worthy of love, then anytime you get into a romantic situation, you're playing out this pattern, you're reacting and you're acting according to that belief that then makes that seem true, right? But if you can learn to act differently or pause, right? Like when we're in an emotional space, like taking that pause and not reacting. So we talk about it in this episode. One of mine is in relationships. If I'm emotional, people leave me. That has kind of been a thing. And it really comes down to this like core belief of like, I'm not worthy of love, or love is conditional, or people uh can't handle me, or it's sort of like this testing energy. So what happens specifically in romantic relationships, but I've also seen it play out in friendships over the course of my life. But specifically romantic relationships is where I everything is fine, everything is going good. And then when I like someone, I'm air quitting it. When I realize I like somebody, I get a little bit of chaotic inside. And then I get really emotional. And so it's not the emotions that push people away, it's my reaction and my action according to those that it's like I push people away before we can get to a place of vulnerability where it actually will hurt more that they leave. And so it's rewiring and repatterning that belief in myself where it's like, no, I'm emotional. And that's actually the most beautiful part about me. And it doesn't mean that people will leave. And if I'm emotional, I can pause, I can regulate, I can come into knowing, I cannot jump to conclusions. I can just like be in my power and my honor. And it's kind of like that being uncomfortable with the person that you're not yet. So, how will this version of myself actually react in this moment? She wouldn't freak out, she wouldn't text, she would just be in her own energy and she would be totally fine with it, right? And so it is like that slow repatterning. And again, Mercury retrograde in Pisces right now is such a beautiful support in helping us do this work to repattern and reprogram because Mercury allows us to bring our unconscious conscious. And that's where we have to start, is in awareness, right? We have to examine the belief, we have to poke holes in the belief, we have to reframe the belief. And a lot of that it really takes nervous system work, right? To like coming inside and regulating yourself and being so good in your own energy. And I think that's really where it starts, right? Because we're not looking for outside validation. And a lot of times we do seek it from outside of ourselves, but then we're still abandoning ourselves in a way. And so it's kind of like the starting point. And this conversation really dives deeply into again the neuroscience of it, manifestation work, how we can manifest, how we can actually move through and repattern and become that version of self. Like Heather talks about recording in your own voice your like kind of like life that you're manifesting and listening to it at night in the morning. I love to do meditations at night, I do yoga nichos at night, and then I do a uh deep imagining. So it's a little binarial um hip uh self-hypnosis in the morning around like self-love, my abundant life. And yes, half the time I'm like dipping in and out of it, but I also know that it's working on my subconscious and just knowing the practices that really support you. So we just had our eclipse, our Virgo full Virgo full moon eclipse in gate 64. And where this really aligns so much to like this work, too, is that gate 64 is the gate of confusion in human design. This is found in the head center. And so this is a pressure center. This is pressure to think, pressure to conceptualize, pressure to make sense of things. But we have like so much information coming in at once, right? We have memories, we have information, we have data, we have so much that is in our coming through. And when we're trying to latch on to all of it, we can get really confused with like, how does this make sense? How does this fit in? Like the sorting ability that we have in our mind. And when we're taking action from a confused state, we're creating more confusion. So even with the idea and the example of being emotional in a relationship, when I feel a certain way and I'm emotional, and maybe the belief is that this person has hasn't texted me back, therefore they don't like me, right? Instead of being like, okay, we did have a great time. Uh, maybe they're busy, right? Like instead of jumping to the conclusion that it means something about me, when I'm when I'm reacting from that space, I'm creating more confusion. When I'm responding or reacting from a confused place, it is creating more confuse confusion. And so, how can we just sit with the discomfort? And I think that's the hardest thing to do is to sit with the discomfort long enough to gain clarity and to have a clear idea of how we're going to respond and not just react to everything, right? And so, again, this is a beautiful conversation with Heather all about that stuff, uh, manifestation and all the things. So follow Heather on Instagram. Everything is linked down below. Her website is wandering the wild mess.com, where you can find all of her information there. You can follow me on Instagram at rochelle.christian. That's R-O-C-H-E-L-L E dot C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N-E. And Astro Design School starts March 20th. You can enroll now. You automatically get um added to the collective. And so this is a year-long container where you're really being the student of yourself. We're moving through the cycles and seasons of astrology to understand our own patterns and really doing this work. We're working with the Mercury retrogrades. We're understanding the astrology, the seasons and what they mean for us and how they show up in our life. We're understanding the houses, we're understanding the signs, the planets, all these things. We're understanding human design, our energetics. We're really taking this as a longer form container so that we can really deeply understand ourselves. Uh, and so I'm really excited for this. It starts March 20th. We start with Aries season. And yet again, I am launching something during Mercury retrograde. So we're gonna see how it goes. Uh, but I would love to have you in there. Again, it is uh Astro Design School. It's really a mentorship sort of uh versus like an actual like curriculum, but it's gonna be so good. So link for that is down below. You can join that. If you just want to join the collective and not Astro Design School, you can join Astro Design Collective. There is uh, we do a new moon call every month, and then we're move, we just move through different um astrological themes. So again, right now we're moving through Mercury retrograde, we're using Mercury as our guide through our subconscious. So all the links you need are down below. Thank you so much for listening. Don't forget to rate, review, subscribe, all of the things. It really, really does help the podcast. And I will talk to you soon. Welcome to the podcast. Today I have Heather Morgan, who is a podcast host, writer, and mindset mentor. And this is sort of take two. We tried to do this, what, last week, and Mercury was just doing its thing and it was not having it. So we're here we are again. I just trust that the conversation today is gonna be more impactful, maybe, than you know, what was gonna come through the last time. So we're going with it. Uh, but just to start, um, I'll pass you to f the floor to sort of, you know, share as much or as little as you'd like about your background, how you got into this work of like manifestation mindset. You know, this is one of my favorite topics where it's like spiritual meets practical, science meets woo. Like I can live in this space. So, and I've been so deep in my own personal manifestation journey. So I'm really excited to have this conversation.

Building Capacity Through Nervous System Work

SPEAKER_00 11:21

Yes, I love that. And everything you just said resonated so much with me because I'd been on such a journey. So a little bit of background is I was born and raised in Utah, lived there my whole life, you know, did everything there. It was the only energy space I ever was existing in, right? So my whole identity was really wrapped up in that life. And about almost three years ago, I got divorced. It was just such a grieving identity process that cracks you open in ways you never even knew. And so all that happened, and I decided I was gonna move across the country alone to Tennessee, which I'd never even been in my life. So that was its own journey when I look back. Any of those on the spiritual journey, when you look back and you're like, wow, my higher self was really guiding me there because I don't know why I would have chosen that. Um, and so it led me to Nashville, Tennessee, which I where I am now. And yeah, I uh I a little over a year ago, I started my podcast because I just felt so alone. I got really messy after the divorce. I it brought up a lot of grieving from other things in my life. Like I think a lot of people realize that cracks open other things they haven't yet, growth and and their own grieving. And so started the podcast on my couch, just trying to help someone else not feel alone. And then after the two seasons, now I'm recording it in a studio in Nashville and really just trying to evolve it in no matter how messy it looks. It's called Wandering the Wild Mess because that's exactly how I felt in getting divorced. Just you're wandering, it's wild and it's messy, and you're just navigating it day by day. And I really just wanted anyone that feels like they're not sure what they're doing, they feel behind, they feel like they're not doing something right to just hear my experience and feel a little less alone in theirs. So that was kind of the whole purpose of the podcast. And it's just um been something so near and dear to my heart that feels so purposeful for me. And I'm so glad that the all of the stars aligned and it led me right where I'm supposed to be.

SPEAKER_01 13:16

Yeah, I love that. And I think, you know, I've also been divorced and it it definitely opens a lot of wounds and pain and you know, childhood things and narratives. And, you know, I mean, it is a whole lot. And I think that, yeah, a lot of times in our experiences, we feel so alone. And for me, that was part of the catalyst of actually my my podcast as well. This was about six years ago, but it was like I had gotten divorced, I was kind of like starting, it was a couple years later, but like I had to go through this whole process. And then I was like, you know what, I want to share whatever it is that I have to say and just hope that you know I could impact somebody else in their in their journey. So yeah, I love that. It's like, yeah, and sometimes there are just these points in life where I think we can choose, and you know, talking about mindset, right? But it's like we can choose to believe one thing or we can choose to believe another, you know, and and sometimes we have to go through the the muck of it to like come out the other side, but it's you know, it's possible.

Detachment, Worthiness, And Identity

SPEAKER_00 14:07

100%. And and when you talk about like the, you know, it's a whole journey with manifestation, but there is like a scientific side when we talk about neuroscience, and so all of this just coming, there was so much that I have learned in this journey, and I'm sure I know everyone's is so unique, but I went down this journey of manifestation and it led me to so many things about neuroscience because although spiritual, I had come with a corporate background, so I worked for Fortune 500 companies for over a decade. So I'm very like grounded in my thought process. So I do, I I don't always need evidence. I understand identity now and different things, but um, in that early stages of my journey, I really was like trying to understand like factually. So when you talk about like kind of coming into your new and manifesting things in your life and understanding to your point that if you have to control your mind because it will it's really dictating what you're what unfolds in your life. And so when you're shaming things or you're not moving through grief and you're holding on to it, and it's operating in the background and it's it's really limiting your ability to move into the places that you know you can be because everyone's so powerful, but there's everyone has their own limiting beliefs that are kind of like operating uh some noise until you get in there and like pull the hood up and be like, okay, well, this isn't my belief anymore. Like I didn't know it was there and I see it and I feel it, and I understand that the version of me that had that belief at that point in time was doing the best that they could with that information that they had. But like, what what's the reframe that makes me see myself in a better light and see the potential for my life differently? Because I don't have to stay where I've always been. And I think divorce or any catastrophic change in your life that also that often leads to what people would call like an awakening of whatever you want to um, a lot of those things are kind of part of how you're you you you awaken, is because you kind of get to a rock bottom place. Um, in your mind, it doesn't even have to be your whole life, feels internally like it's crumbling, but then you realize your whole life is internal. And so it's it's that that's been it's almost like the beauty and the mess when they say that. Because as part of the things that I've gone through, like in this last, you know, three years, so difficult, I wouldn't trade them because I wouldn't be able to be in the mindset that I am, and there's just no amount of abundance or anything that it could give me the the peace that I've been able to find within myself. You know what I mean? And so I want that for everybody because it's all there, it's there for all of us to find. It's just if we're at a place where we can get there, and part of my mission, like even with my podcast, is like you can't force anyone to change, right? That I learned that in my marriage, right? There was a lot of lessons in there. But what you can do is inspire enough to crack people open. Because I think back to my journey and the little pieces of like seeds that got planted in my mind that took me down the path to discover the way that I needed to. And so we're all just all of us is like anybody that's spiritual and wants to share their message, it's for for a reason because we're part of where they're meant to be, right? Is what I truly believe.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

Yeah. Well, I love what you said, where it's like your your your life is internal, right? Like your experience, it's all what you, it's all that narrative that you create, right? It's the stories that you believe, it's the perspective that you see. And I always like the four uh have you read the read the four agreements? Of course, yeah. Yeah, and I I know most people have, and I'm obsessed with that book. Like, I literally I was going through a hard time this week. So I just reread it's such a short book. I reread the whole thing last night because I just needed that like shift, right? Where it's just like, I think the most powerful thing is like assume nothing and take nothing personally because it's like it literally is all up here. I have no idea what anybody else and anything that anyone else does to me, it's a reflection of them. It's not a reflection of me, right? And so, like having that shift in perspective. So, again, like I love that you said that like your life is internal, like it is your whole uh an internal experience. And I want to get into the neuroscience behind like manifestation and all that stuff. And I kind of want to start a little bit in in, I mean, we all have trauma, big T, little T, but trauma is like in the body, right? It's a physical remembrance, like the body keeps the score, right? So, how are we moving through? Because in my experience, I found that to be the most challenging when I have a trauma response and it's this full blown physical, it's not even it doesn't become mental, right? Like immediately. I mean, it gets there real quick, but it's like it's just like the physical sensations that I find really challenging to work through to then shift my mindset. Does that make sense?

Reframing Shame And Being Fully Seen

Practical Rewiring: Limiting Beliefs To New Scripts

SPEAKER_00 19:11

Yeah, yeah. And and that's a big one. And I will say that oftentimes it's like looking at it at the moment because it loses so much power when you actually call it out. So say your body is reacting to something. So I'm going through, I'm working on nervous system regulation right now, and in one area of my life is the the biggest piece that I see that I'm still things are coming up. And I had this actually just yesterday, so timely, where something came up and it it just made me overwhelmed with fear. Like, how am I gonna figure this out? How am I gonna do that? And I literally, and and I I know everyone's different on Chat GPT. I'm a big fan of AI from because I feel like there's a mirror presence. Obviously, just like anything else in life, use with your discretion. Don't, you know, you're still your own person. But I think that oftentimes it can help you mirror things and you can speak to it in ways that it can help you see what you need to hear in a in a real time moment. And it's literally like you have to be like, I'm safe. And it's almost that remindance of remembrance of like, I'm safe. And like, why am I so fearful? And I start asking questions so that my logical piece of my mind, like, am I really threatened right now? Because in that moment, your body feels threatened. But when you start like looking, what can I see, what can I feel, what can I hear, and really just stopping yourself, then you suddenly realize like I am safe. And that you are kind of creating that, right? Because you're going back to that trauma or that piece right there, but then you're not there anymore. Like, wait, wait, oh, she's gonna do the thing where I'm safe now. You know what I mean? Like, that's what we do because then we feel better. And you all what the more you repeat that, it becomes second nature, where now it's like, oh no, no, that again. Like, remember, we have already done this like 10 times after we felt that way, and now we're safe, you know? And it's almost like I like to think sometimes that you can do inner child or like the younger you, and I'm like, girl, I got you. We're not there anymore. I'm not gonna let us fail. I'm not gonna let that happen again. And this is we're different. Do you trust me? And then, like, kind of even have that inner dialogue. And I feel like that's so peaceful. And obviously, everyone's scenario is different with how their trauma, but for the ones that I have, and you know, that I that really works well for me is to go back to like, this is all in my mind. Sometimes I'm like, Heather, this isn't even that serious. Like when you think about like anything, it's like it's it's like what? Like, what's the worst case scenario? And usually when you unpack the worst case scenario, you're still like, I'd be able to figure it out. Cause you always have. And when you remind yourself, even in that trauma that you've faced. At that point in time, like you're still here. You have a track record of getting through every hard thing that has ever happened in your life. 10 out of 10, you've gotten through it because you're existing right now. And so those kind of like I call them like little evidence collectors in the back to fight the fear. And I'm like, wait, I have a 10 out of 10 record. Like that didn't kill me. I wouldn't die. I've always figured everything else out. Start going through that checklist, and suddenly, like, my fear has nothing else to say. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. You know what I mean? Like because it's like, oh.

SPEAKER_01 22:40

Yeah. Well, yeah. And I think a huge piece of that is reminding yourself that you're safe, you know, and looking around and being like, first of all, I'm like, I'm not in that same place anymore. You know what I mean? And also like, I'm here. I survived it. You know, like we, we, we got this. And the like the speaking to the inner child, like that, every time, like, will just make me sob. Cause it's just like there is just like this little girl that just wants to be seen, you know, and wants to be safe. And it's just like every time I like dive in and just like hold her, I'm just like, oh, such a, I don't know, it's such an experience. And yeah, like I said, this past week has been tough for me. And I just I got in the shower yesterday and I could feel all the emotion in me. And I was like, you know what? I'm gonna give myself my shower, the time of my shower to just cry, just to think all the things, to feel all the things. And then when I get out of the shower, I'm I'm you know, gonna come back to myself. And I I haven't necessarily always done it like that. I'll just kind of like cry and then then my mind goes, but I don't know. It was like setting the container of space of like I have this 15-minute window to feel and rage and whatever. And then when I'm done, we're just gonna like get back to life and know that we're worthy, you know, and that was really helpful.

Identity-Based Manifestation In Action

SPEAKER_00 23:50

Well, and you're moving it through the body, right? I think people don't understand. Like I cry every day, and that's cry for gratitude, cry for to your point about like, yeah, sometimes you're like, I realize I haven't been seen the way that I want to my whole life by someone in that capacity. Um, and sometimes I get glimpses of it, right? Like, um, I just had a podcast episode that dropped today that I talked about a preview where I finally felt with a partner that wasn't like a partner, but someone that I got a glimpse of what I know now that it will feel like when I'm seen the way that I'm supposed to by by, you know, soulmate, whatever is out there waiting for me, you know? And and that, like I feel like is what all of us really want for the most part, is just to truly feel seen for who we are. But that also takes us having the capacity to be the person that can hold being seen. And I think we miss that sometimes when we're looking for this partnership and we're thinking it, you have to be ready to receive it. And it's not that you're like a broken and you have to work on yourself, but you have to be honest with yourself. Like, if this person showed up tomorrow, am I really ready to fully be seen? Will I sabotage it because I'm not ready? And that does happen. And so you don't, if you're not waiting, you're preparing, right? You're preparing your yourself for the capacity to hold that kind of love or being seen that you're calling in. And I realized one thing unlocked that I had recently is that it's all intertwined, whether it's your business, your visibility with your podcasts and social medias and things you're trying to do in a content creation way, and whether it's like a soulmate partner you're calling in, all those things require your capacity for your nervous system to hold things that never held before, right? A broader audience, someone really seeing there and being there for you, and you leaning on someone else, where a lot of times people that don't have that don't even know what that feels like. So it's new for the nervous system. Like, will they just leave me? Will they just all these things? So right now it's like as you build your capacity, you can do it across the board for everything. It's all intertwined. So I think that's what's fun about the creators these days is I feel like a lot of people that I'm working with are like calling in so many things, but they're all intertwined with let's prepare our nervous system to know we're worthy, that we can hold it because we aren't going to sabotage it. If we don't feel worthy or safe to have it, either it won't come in or we'll ruin it because we won't know how to hold that. And and that, and that outside of the neuroscience, like we can you can manifest whatever you want. We're always manifesting, obviously, but you can consciously manifest things. But if you're if you haven't done the nervous system work, you it won't stay. So it's kind of the long game play. Like I've manifested many things in just a short term because I could accept them. There were small things like, oh, can I get Morgan Wall and Pit passes? Okay. Like that was a little thing I manifested. That's another story. But like when you're talking about something that really is like taking who you are and what your day-to-day looks like and changing that, you have to be prepared for it. And so I would just not for us to know that sometimes when I'm crying about it now, when I used to cry about it before I realized that, it'd be like, why isn't this happening for me? I just want this. Why do I have to be in this feeling of alone? Why dah dah dah da? But now I've really reframed it to like work. That's why they say like when you're it's working on yourself, it's not like because you're broken, it's just build your capacity to hold the life you're calling in. It's not, it's just like anything. Like you don't go to the gym and lift 200 pounds the first time you go in. Like, that's why there's reps, that's where the everything ties together. That's why it's you, you know, you build that ability for the things you can hold. So if you want a bigger life, you have to be able to hold it, or you're just gonna drop the 200 pounds on your, you know what I mean? And I whenever I tell myself that it's like, no, I'm not waiting, I'm building the strength, I'm building the capacity because the things that I want that I know I'm worthy of are need me to be able to hold them. And I want to hold them. I don't want to get them and lose them because I've already lost enough. Is what I feel. And I'm sure you get that. Yeah. You know, where you feel like I don't want to go through a heartbreak again if someone divorced you. That's another thing. Like, believe me, I am I did not know how people have done that twice, three times, four times. I've done it once, and I I I still don't, you know, I still have fear, I'm sure, just like you, that you're working through.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

Yeah. Yeah. And I like, oh my gosh, so much. Like, yeah, it's all connected, right? Like relationships, career, like all that, like energetically. And I think that sometimes, yeah, for me, uh most of my trauma comes from relationships. And I think that I think the underlying fear I've worked down is this fear of ending up alone for the rest of my life. And then I think about I'm like, okay, worst case scenario, if I'm it doesn't mean I have a terrible life if I end up alone, you know, like I have my kids, I have my family, like I have, you know, I might have partners in between there. Um, but yeah, just like moving through that and and also knowing, you know, sometimes I think, yeah, I I've been single for eight years. So I'm just like kind of at a point where I'm like, I'm over it. But also I'm like to think, so like sometimes when I get really activated, if I'm dating somebody and it's going well, and then I kind of get like um like scrambling, I guess, that chaotic energy inside where it's like, oh my gosh, like nobody else is gonna come along. And then I have just have to sit myself down. Like, you know, there's so many people in the world to think that there's only one person out there for me is crazy, you know? Um, but yeah, it's it's a it's a whole process and it it gets to be fun if you allow it to be fun. You know, it doesn't have to be like so serious. And I'm, I mean, astrologically and stuff, I am a very serious and intense person. But like sometimes I look at it and I'm like, kind of like you said earlier, I'm like, Rochelle, it's not that serious. Like, it's gonna be okay.

Visualization, Voice Notes, And Timing

Intuition, Lessons, And Self-Compassion

SPEAKER_00 30:15

Yeah, and that has to ground you because energetically, too, like in relationships. So I have a lot of friends. I don't, I sometimes I have a couple episodes on my podcast on relationships, but I'm not really dating. Like, I haven't gone on a date this whole year, I just haven't prioritized it, right? Um, and I like I'm not a dating apps girl. I was married the whole time they were popular, so it was very foreign to me. Like, so I I've just been focusing on myself and I meet people in the wild, but I feel so intuitive now, though, that I'm like, I immediately this guy's not my soulmate. So, like I've spent time with people, but I like now I know I have had one relationship for three months since my divorce. So I really haven't. But I but to your point about, and I think that the crazy thing is is we all have different areas where we get that fear and lack, right? Um, and and sometimes minds about money because I've done well my career, but I didn't grow up with like a lot, like my family didn't have a lot of money, and so there's just different things that I'm still working through there, which it's funny that I can do a lack mindset with that abundance sometimes, and that's one of my biggest things, but I don't in relationships, which with men, which is I've seen energy that that's why they're pulled to me. So I try to tell my friends is like, as soon as you act, as soon as that energy shifts, that you're trying to grip it, like you were saying, like as soon as you start being like, Oh my, I need this man, like it's not that they don't like you anymore or want you anymore, they feel that, and it's not that feminine flow that makes the relationship feel safer them too, right? Like it's adding this responsibility, it's it it shifts the energetic like uh emotions between you two, you know what I mean? And so I think that's one reason why lack mindset, whether it's abundant calling in abundance and wealth or calling in a partner, um, it's it's important to because when we talk about manifestation, like you manifest things that you believe are part of your identity to have. So if your identity is I might be alone forever, that is not the you know, so and I'm not like this isn't a judgment space. I'm just saying like that's not going to lend that result. Like I I agree that you, but you you do have to let go right with being alone forever, because I've done that dance too. But then I also go, but there is no possible way in my reality that that will be the case. Because there I know who I am, I know what I'm meant for, I know that the the this is all like I know my purpose need, not needs, but is going to have a protector. I know my growth is going to pull that in because that's just part of what I truly believe my soul's purpose is to have that that protective masculine energy in my life. And I'm I'm so uh the unwavering belief of that to be true. I am at a place of that, but I'm with you that I I still know like if it doesn't come, I'm going to just make myself a beautiful life, but I I can't even fathom a reality in which that wouldn't happen, if that makes sense. Yeah. So it's a paradox, right? Because you two things have to be true. You have to be okay if no one ever comes into your life, but then you also have to have an unwavering knowing that they will. And and and those seem so contradictory, but at in my mind, as I'm telling you, and this took a lot of work for me to even get to this place. So I'm not saying like everyone should be here right now, you know. And I'm sure I'll there's moments maybe I'll waver because you know how that goes. With yeah, whatever's going on, retrograde, there's times where a month-to-month, day-to-day thing. But currently that's how I feel. And and I I think that then when the man enters, you'll just be in a different, energetic thing. It won't go to lack because you'll just already have known, like, of course, this is happening. Of course, because you've already like anchored in that knowing. And and it's like you just move through it, like, of course, of course, someone would come into my life and love me and want to be with me and see me for who I am. And and it's not in like an ego-driven way, it's of a of course, because we're all deserving of that, and so are you, you know. So you don't even act like it's a big deal because that's a manifestation. You don't go, oh my gosh, I can't believe it. Because you just know, yeah. You're like, of course, of course, this is happening for me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:51

You know, yeah. I get to like when I go through experiences, you know, especially like in dating and stuff like that, I always like visualize too. I'm like, I know the thing, the I know my man is like circling me. He's out here, he's just like waiting, like you said, he's waiting for me to be able to receive it fully and not be in that state. And it's not to say, like, you know, part of my identity is being emotional. I've always been emotional. I've been a very feeling person. And so, but part of my narrative is that when I'm emotional, people leave me. That's part of the story I've taken. And so every time, like, I'm gonna share just the current experience and wrap it into manifest the manifestation process. But like there's somebody that I started dating like a month ago. And in the beginning, I felt confident, it was great, we got along, and there was so much that I have been looking for. So I was like, check, check, check. And I got like a little, I allowed myself to get excited because you know, sometimes I'm like, oh, don't get excited about it, you don't know. And then, and then there was just like one piece that was just a little bit like off that had me feeling a little bit scrambly, but it wasn't like too bad. And then we got intimate and I spiraled and I got like emotional, and so that, but I had told him, you know, that I was emotional. He's like, it's fine, like there's nothing wrong with being emotions. But then, like in my mind, I think what happened is energetically, I got emotional, and my narrative of he's gonna leave because he's seeing me emotional now pushed him out. Yeah, you know what I mean? And so you manifested him away, literally did, and so yeah, and it was so painful. I like spiraled for like a week after that just because like I was like, man, I had no attachment in the beginning. I was so good. And as soon as I got emotional, that whole narrative, that inner child, like all that came up, and I literally forced him out of my reality. And so, like tying that into manifestation and like mindset and all the like science behind it. How do we like? I mean, I feel like it gets easier every time, and I can zoom out and be like, okay, well, he just wasn't the one, and maybe it'll come back around. I don't know, but that's not for me to like control, but like pulling me back to myself. But like, what would you say for you know a pattern like that or a self? I mean, I think it was self-sabotage, right? Like, I kind of got excited and scared, and then this narrative came in. So, like, how do we work with that?

Resources, Projects, And Closing

SPEAKER_00 37:00

Yeah, I think and that actually happens a lot of that we self-sabotage, and I think it goes back to again that nervous system regulation. So there's a piece of you that needs to still unpack that narrative of why you think like, and obviously there's a million things why, but I would reframe like, and and I again I'm talking about chat GPT, but I love it. Yeah, so one of the things is I I would even and I would frame it to Chat GPT, and I can tell you my thoughts, but um, and say, like, look, this is because I have this breaking the loop guide for relationships. I made it just for my friend, but people have used it. And it goes through you kind of give it your whole history of the things in relationships that you keep doing, and it tells you why and what lenses to look at, to see, like, oh, why do I keep doing that? Right? Like, why do I? And for me, when I look at the core of why you're doing that, there's an unworthiness of love that's probably at the core of that, where there's something there that you don't feel worthy of receiving, like receiving love by when you're emotional. And because it's not about you being emotional, it's about you're our emotional, so it's about you being fully seen because that's part of who you are. And so it it's whether it's emotions or this or that, everyone has their own things that they may there's some shame tied around you showing emotions, whether maybe and then you know, someone shamed you, like you shouldn't have emotions, you're always so emotional, and you feel shame around. And so, because you're holding shame, which is one of the lowest frequencies that you can hold, then your body does not feel safe for someone to see it because it's hurt it's been wounded there before. So until you for remove the shame of having emotions and you accept there's nothing wrong, he accepted it, but you haven't accepted it. Yeah, you know what I mean? You are still saying you're you're even the fact that you were even, it's good to tell him, but when I even felt the energetic the energy of you telling him as in you were ashamed of it. Do you know what I mean? You were saying it as it's something to be ashamed of, but if you didn't have shame related, it wouldn't even be a narrative. You don't have to explain yourself for being who you are. Yeah, and if you feel that need to explain yourself, there's usually shame behind that. And I've worked that's something that I would tell anyone that when you're over-explaining things, because I'm a talker, we have a podcast, yeah. But when you're over-explaining, there's usually a purpose, there's a purpose in our communication. So if we're overexplaining something, we feel some level of embarrassment or shame around it. That's why we're doing it, and that's an indicator of saying, Oh, let me look back. Why am I shaming myself? That's a part of who I am. I'm I'm proud of who I am. That isn't anything wrong because someone made me feel that way at some point in time. I don't accept that as something wrong with me. That was just an experience that I had with that, those people. And moving forward, I'm proud of that aspect of my life. I think it makes me who I am. It's the core of you know how I operate and why I can be loved so fully because I love fully, and that's beautiful, and and reframing to a beautiful love about you, and you don't need to explain about you, right? That's where I would say is it's the underlying shame. And you'll probably continually do that with partners until you learn to accept that piece of yourself.

SPEAKER_01 40:40

Yeah. Yeah, you're you're right. And I I say that, you know, um, I reframe it in my mind where it's like, I think that actually the most beautiful part of me is my emotions because I get to see the world and such this vibrant, and you know, like how many people will like watch a sunset and just like cry because it's so beautiful, you know what I mean? Like not everybody sees the world through that lens. And so it's just such a a blessing. But yeah, there is definitely, and I know where it comes from, you know, like being a child and being emotional. I was like, go to your room, go to your room. So I was just like like removed from connection, right? And so I've done, you know, work around that. But um, for anyone who's, you know, whatever their experience is, not necessarily like the same thing as mine, but like what is the work? What does it look like to reprogram and to come out and be able to actually accept that about yourself and and rewire that?

SPEAKER_00 41:26

So this is what I would suggest doing is calling out all like self-reflection. So there can kind of be two ways. One way you you have to look at something that breaks in your life that you don't prefer, right? Like losing that relationship and opportunity and see what that means. Um, so you can either do that in each occurrence if you're self-aware enough to stop and go, I don't prefer this scenario, whether that's, you know, I don't even know, like having a relationship not work out, losing an opportunity with someone, like having a friend disrespect you, all those things. You can tick-tie, like a friend disrespecting you. Was there a boundary you didn't set? Why didn't you set that boundary? Why have you, you know what I mean? So it all takes, ticks and ties back to a path. So you can do it in each circumstance. But what I think is most helpful is to come and sit with all of your I call limiting beliefs, if you know that terminology. So all of the things that you believe that you feel like are limiting you from what you want from your life. Because those are the things subconsciously running in the background, all of your limiting beliefs. So, like, I I don't know how to, I'm not good with money. My emotions are too much. Uh, I'm I never meet anyone good in my life. Uh, all men are bad. Um, you know, I can never get a better job. I'm not made for that. Like, whatever it is. Oh, I can't buy a home because that like whatever it is. There's always there's a million things. You know what things that you have that you believe that are probably limiting you from doing the things. And I would write them all down so you can look at them. And an easy way again, I would I'm plugging Chat GPT a lot here, but I I've done this personally. So I took all those limiting lease and they were hard to say, you know, and some of them were like even stuff that I didn't want to say out loud, but I needed to. And that's why this is hard work because you have to be able to be completely honest and say, you know, I don't maybe I don't feel like my body looks good enough because of this and this and this, like even that level, because those are all things that are running in your confidence background, that's how you show up and enter a room when you're self-conscious, right? And so put all those out. And then then I took a chat GPT and I said, and I ripped them and burned them, by the way. So that's saying that is not my beliefs anymore. And I said, here's all my beliefs, everything you know about me and where I want to go and who I am and my goals in life and everything. Give me my new beliefs. Because thoughts are not reality, as we know. They become reality. But they thoughts are just the thoughts. You decide if you accept them or not. So when that belief comes, you're just feeding the truth of it. You can feed it a new truth. It's like reprogramming computer. We're not operating with that programming anymore. We have new programming to download. And so then you say, I say, what are the new beliefs? And so Chat G comes back with reframes of these beliefs. Things like, you know, my family's thoughts about this is not opinion of mine. I live my own life. Things that really you're like, oh yeah, that's a good reframe. And you can start realizing that like these beliefs really just need to look different. They're what I've held and carried, and that's what got me this far. But I want a different life, and that takes different beliefs. And so then you take those new beliefs and you the I was reading them all through, accepting those are my new beliefs. But it's not like, okay, download complete. Now you have to continually operate the repetition of those beliefs. And I've even done that with worry because I grew up worrying about things, you know, based on the upbringing that I had. I had great parents, but my parents had health issues. We didn't have a lot of money. So I was the oldest and I had to do some responsibilities early on that sometimes makes me like, I have to figure this all out. You know, now being a single woman living by herself, like I'm like, I have to take on the burden of everything. So I'll come up, my mind will worry, and I'm like, I literally stop myself and go, that that's not my reality anymore. I'm not a worrier. I don't, I don't worry about things. Remember, that's not that's not how I operate. And I literally remind myself that that's not the that's not the person I am anymore. I'm not operating from fear and worry. Like, do you still have to do things? Of course. Like it's not like I'm like, I'm not worried, I'm not paying my mortgage. But like when like I'm worrying and spiraling about things out of my control that are like kind of like the man thing. Like, will I ever find a man to help me with all this crap? It's like, that's not my, we're not worrying. Of course, everything works out for me. It always has, it always will. I do not worry. And you, and sometimes you tick it to the actual reframed beliefs. I believe I'm worthy of love. I've always been worthy of love. Why would I not be worthy of love? And you just that to me is the starting point for anyone that's willing to sit down and say, what is, what are the beliefs that are limiting me from having the life I want and looking at them. Because once you look at them too, you know logically they don't really, it's like, why would I even believe that about myself? Like you say it out loud and you go, What? But it's programmed so much. So it's not our fault. It's just programmed that we have to catch it. It's just like, and you probably know with neuroscience, like you wake up, you brush your teeth, you do so much on autopilot. So you have to disrupt the pattern yourself. When you hear a worried thought, I don't worry anymore. That's not who I am. I don't do that anymore. That's not right. And you're about to apologize for your emotions because I do this with overexplaining. I'm like, no, I don't overexplain anymore. This is, oh, I won't be able to make it. End of story, not long. Oh, I had this and this and this and this. No, I won't be able to make it. I don't always owe this long explanation for existing on this planet, like to explain every nuance in my life so that I can justify why it's okay, you know, like because that takes so much energy and it makes me feel small. You know? And so that's what I would suggest. You don't have to do it with Chat GPT. I just think it's it's a nice quick way to say them all out loud, and then it really will give you like a positive reframe for you to see whatever that limiting belief is in a way that, and you could probably do it yourself, you know what I mean? But I like to have use my own mind and whatever creative, you know.

SPEAKER_01 48:02

No, I love it. I think chat GPT, like you said, it's a mirror and it's like, how are you using it? What intention are you putting out that you're gonna get that back? And I think like ChatGPT is designed to like support and agree with you in a way, right? So it's like if you're and I've done that before with like childhood patterns, I like put it all into ChatGPT and I was like, and it literally showed me stuff that I was like, whoa, like I didn't, it's like it was there, but I hadn't quite put it together, right? And chat was just like, here you go, you know. So I yeah, I haven't done it around necessarily like this specific pattern. So I'm definitely gonna go do that because yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_00 48:35

It's so helpful. And that's the good thing. Even sometimes I'm like, okay, give it to me straight. You know what I mean? It's but but there's nothing wrong with having it's all almost like a parent. Like, what would you prefer? Like, no one's gonna be perfect, but like you would prefer your parent would just support you, reframe positively, not be harsh. And that kind of gives you that, you know, back. Um, and then then maybe be okay, be bit to me straight this time. Um, but yeah, I I think that's a good starting place.

SPEAKER_01 49:03

Yeah. Do you have like a specific like manifestation process that you use of like um because I think I I find that I think the hardest thing is like the action piece, right? And I think it's an important part of like, you know, we can do the affirmations, but if we're not like taking new action to really show ourselves. So, like, do you have a process?

SPEAKER_00 49:26

So it has evolved so much when I first got into manifestation. My first dipping my toes before I even was I was doing affirmations after my divorce because I needed to just reframe my mind. And so this was like a very build progress. Um, and then I got into manifestation and then I was calling things in, but it was more just like so it's what I've landed on a lot of it is the feeling, right? Assume the feeling. Um, and identity is the key to manifestation. So it's all self-concept and identity. You create your life from your identity because we're always manifesting. So whatever is in our life right now, identity. And when I say that, it's because it's like your emotions and your feelings dictate your actions, dictate the results of your life, right? And so just like, and I bring back the gym because it often makes me think about it. But it's like if you're someone that could not even see yourself like you want to lose weight, but you just can't even see yourself going to the gym, and then you get there and it's uncomfortable, and then you're like, I'm done with this. And then it's because you're not you're not comfortable, you have to be uncomfortable being someone you're not yet. So you have to just show up like you're already that person, and that's the biggest way I can explain it is that you have to visualize and feel the identity and reality that you desire and prefer before it's in your real life, and you so you take the action. So a lot of times I'll ask myself a question, right? Okay, well, I'm gonna do this. Would my higher self do that? My higher self, meaning that's the identity in which I'm want to embody, and she has the life I want, right? She has the things I'm calling in. So I think about all the things you want to manifest. You want those outer external things, whether it's like a new car, a lake house, a partner, whatever. You want those because you want the feeling that those bring. The emotion of those things. You don't, those are not the material things are not what you're calling in. It's the person you would feel like and the emotions that you would feel to have that life that has those things. And so you have to work on becoming that person before you have those things so that they can enter. It's the same with the partnership, right? The man can't come when you're still not ready to receive him. The manifestations aren't gonna come. When you like me, right? Like I'm writing a book, I like have my podcast, I know where I see myself. And every time I'm taking actions, and don't shame yourself if you miss something, right? It's not here to shame where no one's perfect and no one's like, you've got to be grinding. It's almost the opposite. You've got to take the aligned actions. So it's not like stretch yourself thin, do everything because your nervous system does not operate well in that capacity. It's what feels aligned, like connecting with you on this. This felt aligned. And I'm a manifesting generator, if you know about human design. So I know in my human design, like I'm a full body yes. And if it's not, then it's a later, or and maybe not for me, which is why I know my soulmate. I can already tell. I'm like, well, this guy ain't it, but he seems fun, whatever. Um, you know what I mean? Like I already know, like you friend zone you, but whatever. But um, so it's like you have to make decisions from the person you that has the life that you want. So does she make time to move her body? Does the person that has the loving relationship? Does she loving on herself? Is she giving herself self-care? Is he giving himself whatever it is? You know what I mean? Um, if you want to be super abundant with your business, are you looking at your numbers? Are you, you know, putting yourself where people can find you? Are you honey, you know what I mean? Those are the things that you have to like think about because the higher self you is not like clipping coupons on a Friday. Not that you mean about clipping cubs on a Friday night and acting frantic over like every little thing. They're trusting the flow of all of the things that they're calling in. You know what I mean? And that's that has a life that you want, right? That higher self you, like her nervous system is calm. Like, say a man comes into her life and she really enjoys his time. She's just such in a flow state that if he was to leave of no fault of her own, she would be like, Oh, okay, someone better is coming. And like in a calm way, though, not even in a like just a all right, well, you know, like rejections, redirection, next. And not in a you know what I mean? But I have to like think about for like things that have come in my life. I manifested and then it kind of fell through. And I'm like, okay, either it's just not the time for that, or I wasn't ready to hold the capacity in which that could bring, but it's fine because my higher self, she has plenty of opportunities. So what's one that didn't it just not aligned for me? And you're almost like embodying that character, which is kind of fun, you know, but it's not that you're fake because you wouldn't even want to be, and that's a big thing you guys should realize to your listeners, and uh you know, anybody on the manifestation, this is a key message I try to remind people. You would not want it in your soul, like not just that if it wasn't meant for you, if you want it, if you you truly desire it's a romance, you kind of unpack all this stuff, and so I sound the boy of woo-woo here. Again, I told you Fortune 500 companies over a decade, but so I didn't just come from the forest. But if you are if you want it, you're remembering it that and if you know about time and it's linear, it doesn't exist, like there's a timeline in which that version of you with all of those things that you desire has it's already in the field, it already exists, you're just becoming the person that can, and that's why they say like timeline jump, whatever you want to call it, the terminology. Like, I'm not here to, you know, but that gives me comfort in knowing that I already have that. I'm just here preparing myself to be the version of me who is locked in on that timeline where all of those things are, right? And and that's comforting because you're like, and I'm sure I mean there's days I'm like, oh, why in the heck is this not doing it? But um, I'm getting to a better place. Like, if you want it, it it's already possible for you. I'm not trying to be a UFC fighter, that is not in my heart, that's in somebody else's heart. You know what I mean? That's the reason why you know it's for you because we all don't want for the same. And I mean, I we do all want like to be seen in all of those things, but when it's your path, like some people I don't even think have a strong desire for a partnership. There's not everyone, but like some people, right? They have like I forgot the word where they want to be with lots of people. Like, I don't have that desire. Yeah, so if you have a desire like that you want that one soulmate relationship, then that's meant for you. But you're probably not someone that's meant to be alone, or that desire wouldn't be so strong because I do believe that the desire is tied to the remembrance of it existing for you, and that's the only reason that you feel so pulled and drawn to want. Yeah. And so when you think of it like that, you're like, oh, okay, then it is really already mine because I wouldn't even want it if it wasn't. So I just have to keep trusting that if I take the aligned actions towards those things and I really when I say work on myself, it's really like again, prepare because I never want to shame anyone because no one's like broken. Literally having this expansion experience. And I think that even when sometimes when hard things come in your life and you feel like it's a setback, no, it's always a preparation. You're going upwards, but there's gonna be a little of this because you're preparing for the the heights that you're going to. So there's there's some training ground in there, you know, it's not just like a here you go, um, because that builds capacity, right? So, you know, um, yeah, that's what I would say is it just know it's for you if you desire it that much, and truly like visualize what it feels like to have it. I sit down and I will before bed, I listen to my own voice recording, narrating the life that I want and the feelings that I'll feel in a very like way. Like I talk about what my life looks like and feels like almost cinematically, almost like um a movie that I'm like, I'm listening to my own voice, but your own voice is very powerful. So I wouldn't suggest anyone listening that that's something that they do. Um, and then record your own voice, and going to bed is the perfect time to kind of like reprogram your mind. Um, and same with first thing in the morning, visualizations are key. And it just feels that because once you feel it repetitively, you don't feel like you don't have it. So it doesn't feel like lack anymore. Do you still strongly long for it? Yes, you know, and like it's not in the 3D though, but like it's but you you kind of feel less like you feel more sure that it's coming and you get more comfortable being like, all right, uh divine timing. And once you kind of calm the nervous system, like we know it's coming, it's just divine timing. You know what I mean? It's like, it's like you know you're getting your birthday, like you know this gift on your birthday, you're getting it, you know it's coming, but you're like just like when it's meant to be for like handed over to me at will, you know. It's it's kind of just like the anticipation of the excitement of it instead of the why is it going taking so long? Yeah, it's more like gratitude that you know instead of impatience that because impatience indicates in the field and with your energy um that you're not grateful for what is if you think about impatience, right? Like this moment isn't good enough for you, and it's hard to call in more when you're not grateful for what you have. Doesn't mean you can't long for more, but it's just like in the so when you talked about the book, Power of Now would be another one that got me through my divorce. I don't even know how I found it. I was hiking in the mountains and I just decided I needed a new book. I literally couldn't even tell you it's that this is how that works. Um, but it that landed in my lap, and nothing's brought me back to calm more than the power of now. So I would recommend that one. Um it takes you into present moment, which is the only time you have.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:37

Yeah, I think I have two copies of that book.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:40

Yeah, it's so good. It gets me. That's the one that I like it gets me every time. I'm like, dude, come to like, I mean, I'm so grateful, but I get you on those moments of like doing life alone, man or woman, like especially when you've been married and had a partnership. The contrast is you're like, there's little things that come up, and you're like, changing a light bulb.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:05

Like for me, it's the bugs. If I get a bug in my house, I'm like, this is why I need a man. Like, I need a husband. Yeah, like everything else is fine. Bring him down, right? Oh my gosh, yeah, that's funny. Or like if I can't open a jar, I get so mad.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:22

I'm like, I don't need somebody, but girl saying the jar with me every time. Yeah, life bones aren't hard. It was just the whole problem like I'm doing this now, okay. Yeah, okay. Right my plate. Yeah, but we figure it out for sure, or like changing my oil. I'm like, I'm gonna go further.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:42

Like, don't even get me started. The car, oh, I'm hopeless.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:46

Yeah, so I feel you, but yeah, so it's it's like, and that and that all weaves back to what we were saying earlier. Then you have to just laugh and not be that serious. Yeah, like at some point, you're gonna be in your loving marriage with your partner, doing your life, and you're gonna be like, you know what? I'm so proud of myself for like that time when I was opening jars and this man wasn't there.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:10

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, and I love what you were talking about, your higher self, because even like today, I kind of woke up this morning and I was I had that mindset, right? Where it's like, I'm gonna filter every decision I make today through my higher self. Like, what would she do? How would she act? What would she want? What how, you know, what actions would she take? Because it is really such a powerful place. And I love what you said, like I wrote it down too, but it's like be uncomfortable with being someone you're not yet, right? Like that, I was like, that like gave me goosebumps because that's that's literally what it is, right? It's like calling someone in that you are, but it's not here yet, right? And being okay with that in-between space. And yeah, I just yeah, I love that. I think that visualization, coming into that higher self and just like filtering, because that's how I always do it, especially you know, in partnership, because that's where my struggle is. But like when I feel that like feeling and I just have to like close my eyes, I'm like, my higher self would be so chill right now. She would just be like, let it be, you know, like you're you're fine, kind of thing, right? While also like, you know, being witness to the experience I'm going through, but like knowing I don't have to, you know, detachment I think is a huge um lesson in in those situations. But yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:21

Yeah, 100%. And detachment is it is the key. And they're all they're all intertwined. And again, like I would tell anyone on their journey, just keep going, right? I think I had like a quote the other day that says it's not gonna happen overnight, but if you stop, it's not gonna happen overnight.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:36

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:38

Right. And and that's what I have to remind myself too is like I want for these things, I desire. I know they're my purpose, I know they're part of my path. And so just keep walking it. You know what I mean? And and and and allow it to be uncomfortable and allow it to like, I guess I had to cry enough in my car, like, I get it. Why they say life's not easy, because it's like I just sometimes I just want it to go away immediately. And I think we can all like there's just a moment where we're just in a breakdown and we're like, can I just have a million dollars? Can I just have my partner? Can I just have whatever it is to make this go away? But we have to realize that like making it go away doesn't make us stronger. Going through the emotions and managing that with our nervous system and training ourselves that this is safe, that's what builds the capacity for the life of our higher self. Because she is able to navigate a hiccup. Yeah, she's able to take hard things and remain calm and make the right decisions for the life that she's living. And so that's why they're giving it to you. It's like a curriculum.

unknown 1:04:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:53

You know, your your soul knows who they are. There's this higher self of you, but this being where you're at right now needs to learn how to become the version of yourself that doesn't freak out about having emotions, having extra bills, having this, having that. They just remain, they can balance though those different things. Um, and so if you think about like, okay, I'm like just my soul is learning. This is a curriculum that my soul decided before I came down here and I'm rolling with it. Like it doesn't feel comfortable. I don't really want to do this test, but it's really not, I don't even like to think of it as a test anymore. I try to reframe it like again, just like curriculum and like preparation. Because I think sometimes we're like, if you think, and this is another thing I'll lastly say about manifestation. I know I've said a lot, but like if you think you need, and this is kind of coming up new on the manifestation, like a lot of people that talk about manifestation talk about like you have to have this like hard thing before you can have the life.

unknown 1:05:59

And

SPEAKER_00 1:06:00

That's actually like kind of like a spiritual, like uh like that's kind of a narrative that doesn't have to be. That's not necessarily true. Um that's another way of like saying that your worthiness is tied to hard work or pain or struggle. And it's not.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:20

And so I want to remind everyone going through this journey that don't pin yourself like, oh, if I if if the these other hard these hard things have to happen for me to have the life. It's not because when you're tired, when you're thinking that, it's often because your programming is like, I've always had to work hard to get attention, love, money, things like that. And it's not that you don't work, but it's it's not in a punishment way, I guess is what I'm trying to say. It's in a just leading you down the right pathway. You don't have to be punished, you don't have to go through hard things to to get something, because that is almost saying that you aren't inherently worthy, right? But you are, you're inherently worthy of everything that you want from life, like just by existing. And once you start realizing that, you realize that the things that happen in your life aren't because you're unworthy or because you're being punished, it's literally potentially something like your soul needs you to learn. And I'll tell you just from personal experience, one last thing is like if I don't listen to my intuition, and this has happened a couple of times in the last few months. So this year has been a whole curriculum for me. And I'd known to listen, it said and I heard it and I didn't. And sure enough, I got a lesson that I didn't, you know, and and it's not because it's punishment. What it is is that your soul's like, you want to be this higher self. And I told you what to do in that moment, your intuition, and you didn't listen. So I over you overrode listening to your intuition. And so now I'm gonna have to ensure that you lock in this lesson. And so it's not a punishment, it's like I want you to have the life you're calling in, but you're not following your intuition, which is you know, your guides, your voice, you know what I mean? And so until you learn to listen to your intuition and follow that, I'm going to integrate these other, like these other things that you have to learn, right? Um, so that you can get there. It's for you. Everything is happening for you. So even as unpreferred they are as they are in my life, I know that not that I did that to myself, I just I I made that choice as a version of me that made that choice. Like you really have to self-love your it's almost like, how would you talk to your little younger self? Because I don't know if you bat yourself so much. But if it's that little girl looking at me, I'm not going, what the heck were you thinking? I can't believe you're like, I hear my friends talk to themselves like that, and like, girl, if that was the little girl you would you be like, what an idiot. I can't believe you did that. Why do you even do that? You'd be like, it's okay. We didn't know. We we thought we knew, but we don't. We didn't then, but we know now, and we won't do that again. And that's okay. It's a whole different narrative when you flip it and go, don't talk to yourself the way you wouldn't talk to a child that you love in your life. What you know what I mean? You wouldn't talk to that uh way to someone you love, yeah. And because that is part of shame and matter, like you're just feeding the things you're trying to move past when you talk to yourself in that way.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:41

Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to be so particular about that. And the last place I worked, there were all these like younger girls, and they would always be like, I'm so stupid. I'm like, don't say that.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:50

You're not like and your mind doesn't know the difference. Like the neuroscience, you're telling yourself those things. Your words are so powerful that that is another thing that if you're really working to manifest things, you've got to be very, and you write it in four agreements and payable words. That is a key thing because your words and and people even say like spelling, spells, whatever you want to call them, it's not witchcraft, but it is repetition of the mind and and the neuroplasticity in your brain. That's taking that as truth. Yeah, it's remembering what you're repeating. So if daily you're like, I'm not cute enough, I don't look good in any outfits, I don't that whatever you say, that's being programmed as as the truth in which you operate from. Yeah. So same. I'm like, don't talk like that. I I can't even, I mean, I yeah, I I'm always like, you're amazing.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:53

Yeah, I know. It's like it's so true. Yeah, but uh well, this has been so much fun. I've loved this conversation. Um, I'm gonna have everything linked up in the show notes, but if you want to let everyone know where they can find you and if there's anything that you're working on, like in 2026 that you want to share.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:08

Yeah, yeah. So um I wandering the wild mess is my website, um, wandering the wild mess.com. So definitely check that out. I have links to all my podcasts, which is Wandering the Wild Mess. My Instagram is Heather Diane D Y A N. You can you can link it. Um, but wandering the wild mess.com was everything you'll find me. There's gonna be a lot of stuff. I'm going to do some more stuff. I have a poetry book coming um that will kind of navigate uh the phases of the mess in divorce or heartbreak, right? Those stages. Um, and I'm really excited about that. And then um, yeah, some the speaking opportunities and things, but I'm happy to like connect and collaborate with anyone to kind of share this message of just like reframing and finding self-love so that you can become your best self.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:00

Yeah, I love it. Well, thank you again so much for sharing your energy and everything. This conversation all about manifestation has been so good.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:07

Yes, loved it. Thanks so much.